My inbox receives about 200 emails a week from a diverse group of people. I find that an email address is a direct indication of a persons age. I decided to make a little Email Time Line in a persons life to illustrate my point.

JohnnySmith85@aol.com The first email you ever make as your parents are looking over your shoulder.

Skatrman69@yahoo.com The first email you make when your parents are not looking. Plus the #69 or incorrectly spelt Skater lets your friends and email recipients know how cool and or tough you are.

John.Smith@COLLEGE.edu No pressure in picking this email because it was given to you by your college. It is easy to remember because you are going to be intoxicated most of the time.

John.Smith@gmail.com After you graduate college you leave both the happiest place on earth and your email address. Now you have to pick a fresh new smarter online identity. Safe bet is to go with something similar to your college one, and just make the excuse that it was easy to remember. Remember creative email addresses look cool on a bar napkin not a resume.

John.Smith@(InsertFortune500Comany).com Back to getting an email address picked for you. This email is a great way to show x-girlfriends what type of job you have when you email her wishing her a “happy” birthday. (If you have a corner office just attach the picture in the email)

TheSmiths33@sbcglobal.net Once you get married sharing is not limited to your physical space it includes an email address. While it might be embarising to write your new joint email address down on the PTA sign up sheet, at least you can not be held totally responsible when they change the start of a little leauge game.

Skatrman69@yahoo.com This oldy will come in handy again when you attempt to threaten any guy who tries to date your daughter posing as her cool and or tough older Boyfriend from another town.

John.Smith@shaddygroveretirementhome.com At this point picking out an email is the least of your worries. It is simple but you are going to forget anyway.

JohnSmith19430574@Heaven.org or JohnSmith24785@hell.org After scanning the inbox of all your prior email address the Big Guy upstairs will assign you with one or the other account.